This week I got a text from an old friend. She talked about her struggle to find a relationship with a man who dotes on her lovingly, but who also allows her the freedom to live the life she currently enjoys while single. When I inquired further, she mentioned that her idealized vision of her role in embodying the “divine feminine” involves allowing her male counterpart to take a lead role in her decision-making while she was supportive of his goals. She also mentioned that she desperately wants to be “chosen” in a relationship.
Her idea of the “divine feminine” is that it should melt into the masculine and create some kind of whole.
Many of us can relate to some of her goals. We want to be a priority to a partner, and to take care of ourselves at the same time. Sounds harmless on the surface. However, if you look more closely at her idealized relationship rules, they are in major conflict.
First off, sitting around waiting to be “chosen” by someone who is meant to take a lead role in her life is not exactly in line with making plans to live life on her terms, free to be herself.
Secondly, if she is taking a supportive role in a partnership, how does she get her needs met?
Right? Or am I screaming into an empty canyon?
Apparently I am. So many people try to live up to these ideal male and female roles in relationships without even giving thought to their real definition. For context, here are traits often associated with the true meaning of “divine feminine” from a wonderful random Google search I did on February 5th, 2025, the day I wrote this article:
• Creativity
• Compassion
• Intuition
• Empathy
• Sensuality
• Kindness
Nowhere in there does it say, “Let the man take the lead” or “make it a goal to be chosen” - yet I see this idea misconstrued all the time. Interestingly enough, while these ideals are often found in more woo metaphysical circles, they have much in common with religious dogma in this regard. The man leads the woman.
Weird how some things come full circle.
At any rate, if we are going to throw around these ridiculous and unnecessary terms like “divine feminine” and “divine masculine” we might as well understand their original intent: to help us embody more positive traits that are traditionally associated with certain gender roles. What some people think these divine roles actually are is actually a bastardization of thinly-veiled excuses our culture uses to promote a revival of the 1950s.
The concept of “being chosen” has its roots firmly entrenched in the religious-based perceived ownership men have over women.
Do we need to live up to the divine? No. But chances are you already do. You already possess most of the traits listed above. How hard was that? Congratuations - you are divine! If we are going to insist on embodying these terms we might as well at least try to understand them.
Stop waiting for someone to choose you so that you can feel worthy of love. The real “divine feminine” doesn’t build a life around the divine masculine. It embodies the traits I listed above in the bulleted list. Scroll up for your divine salvation.
This Week’s Transits
Having some trouble quieting your mind this week? I doubt you are alone. A very active Mercury cycle early in the week with a harsh Uranus square on Monday and then the full Leo Moon will make us all feel a little bit like there is so much going on that it is hard to calm down. Sleep will not be easy for the more anxious of us the first few nights of the week.
Tuesday’s energy is a lot more productive and less frustrating as we work to uncover truths that we’ve been hiding from ourselves. The Leo full Moon on Wednesday is a very extroverted one, encouraging us to get out of our shells and open up, even when we feel less comfortable doing so. We may even feel a little forced to be “on stage” in various ways midweek. Keep in mind that while the sign Leo does love the limelight, this might not personally apply to you.
However, an inclination to hide will do you no favors this week either. There is a happy medium, and finding it may be the difference between a harsh week and a relaxing one.
Speaking of relaxing, things turn sharply calmer late-week when Mercury heads into Pisces and we will finally get some time to unwind, if we so choose. The endless and relentless news cycle that is meant to distract us and take us away from ourselves should also calm a bit over the weekend.
A reprieve. What a concept!
Words of wisdom: What would happen if you decided to stop trying to be someone else? I don’t mean someone else you know. I mean a “better” version of yourself. What if there is no better version? What would that mean for you?
